Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Humans

    I've begun to notice a pattern when I step in to resolve conflict between my children. Without fail I hear something like, "But, Mom, he took the toy away from me first." Or, "He was annoying me so I hit him so he would stop."  Each blames the other for his actions. 

    How do I teach them that they are responsible for how they react when wronged?  They can choose to react with patience and kindness and come get Mom to be the mediator, or they can retaliate and punish the other person. 

     I've noticed this pattern in adult conflict as well. It troubles me that so many think it's okay to treat others the way they have treated us.  Instead, we are to treat others as we want to be treated. I've started training my children that no matter what someone else has done to them, they  have a responsibility to strive for peace in the relationship. Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away anger but a harsh word stirs up wrath." How much more a hit or punch stirs up wrath! 

    Our goal is to raise our children to love each other. We want them to be partners in life so that  they will always have each other's strength and friendship to fall back on.  Family is important and sometimes early sibling rivalry can cause lasting anger and broken relationships in later life. 

     What a wonderful life skill to learn early on to diffuse hostility and become a peacemaker!. That will help our children not only build positive, strong relationships with each other but also to become peacemakers as adults in their churches, work places, or wherever they go. If we take time to sit with our children and help them work through a conflict, we can be instrumental in training a generation that knows how to put aside rancor and squabbling.  I know how hard it is to set aside the task of the moment but few things could be more worthwhile.